


Better

by Sarebal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Parents, Akaashi Needed a Hug, Angst, Bokuto can't live without Akaashi, Bokuto is in pain, Bokuto needs a hug, Depression, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Painful Love, Past Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Romeo and Juliet References, Suicide, Suicide Notes, double suicide, homophobic parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29871180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarebal/pseuds/Sarebal
Summary: Two years. They had two years together to forge a perfect future together. A future with a home, children, and a world full of love. But, it only took one family meeting and two hours for it all to fall apart. And now, one month after the love of his life took his own life, Bokuto is left to pick up the pieces. He's left to make himself feel better.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Better

When was the last time he stepped foot outside?

When was the last time he actually slept without waking up screaming with tears threatening to drown him?

When was the last time he didn't call out for someone who's no longer there?

Bokuto doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore. Half the time he couldn't tell if he himself was alive or dead. Friends stopped visiting. No calls came to check on him. Even his own parents no longer seemed to care. The world had moved on it seemed. But how could he? How could he move on from the one person who made him feel like he was _enough_? 

The shadows of their home - _his_ home, threatened to swallow him whole and release him from this misery. The monsters he's kept at bay these last two years for Akaashi, _his Keiji_ , all come out from their hideaway, laughing and taunting him. Their fingers point at him and their sharp claws dig into his skin drawing a bright red from his veins. He couldn't feel it, the pain from his skin tearing. He couldn't hear the voice in his head telling him if it was all a dream or not. He just... _couldn't_. Not without Akaashi Keiji.

"Oh... I'm bleeding,"

Bokuto's voice is weak and hoarse, no urgency in his words as he stares down at the droplets of blood staining his thighs. One monster with sharp teeth and red eyes slowly emerges from under his bed, looking up at him from between his feet. Bokuto just watches as the monster reaches up and grabs at his thighs, nails digging into the red-stained flesh. A silent scream sounds from the man as the monster tears through his skin, muscles tearing apart. 

"You're not enough and never have been for, _Keiji_ ," the monster laughs, blood splattering onto his face.

"I'm not... I'm not," Bokuto's voice cracks, tears falling from his eyes and down his cheeks.

As the darkness begins to take over, a soft melodic voice rings through the room. Bokuto's heart skips a beat.

_Is he back? Is my Keiji back for me?_

Looking around the room, Bokuto's only met with dancing shadows and a shattered reflection from his old mirror. 

"Koutarou, darling,"

The voice comes again, this time bringing along a chill and goosebumps.

"Keiji," Bokuto whiispers, body melting into the cool air.

"I'm here, love. I'm here," 

Bokuto shudders as two icy hands wrap gently around his own. 

"Why did you go?" Bokuto cries, head held low, hair falling into his eyes.

"So I could be better. So _we_ could be better, Kou," Keiji's voice is soft and warm.

Bokuto's body shakes with his violent sobs, the monsters laughing and digging into him even more. Keiji's hands squeeze tighter around his own. Keiji's voice guides him through it all, promises of peaceful love and a future where they're happy and together. 

It's a strange feeling to Bokuto. A part of him is so, so cold. But the other part is filled with such great warmth and the soothing feeling of Keiji's love.

"Come to me, love, you're so close," Keiji's voice is just as beautiful as it was when he had last heard it.

"Where are we going, Keiji?" Bokuto whimpers, letting Keiji pull him away from the bed.

"Home, Kou. We're going home away from this hell," Keiji's breathtaking blue eyes come into focus, black hair next, and then, the smile that made Bokuto's heart weak.

"God, Keiji, you're so... perfect," Bokuto admires, a hand coming up to caress Keiji's face.

Keiji's delicate laugh is enough for Bokuto to finally feel at ease, his body devoured in a sweet warmth. 

"And you, Kou, are more that enough for me," Keiji whispers, his lips pressing a smooth and gentle kiss to his cheek.

"What's next, baby?" Bokuto asks, body alight with love and joy.

"Say goodbye, Kou, to the past. Once you do, all that's left is our future," Keiji guides, his gaze falling back to the bed.

Bokuto does the same. Laying on the bed, cold and still is himself. With his arms and legs torn up from the monsters and the bloodied sheets, Bokuto can hardly recognize himself. This is their past; _his_ past. And now, what is left? Nothing but their future.

"Are you ready, love?" Keiji's voice rings in his ear again, his lover waiting for him just a few steps ahead. 

"Yeah, I'm ready, Keiji. Let's go home."

**Author's Note:**

> I just love hurting myself like this.


End file.
